Oh! So Natural

I found her whole display so vulgar, needy, hungry, and tasteless. And, still, I became obsessed with her right then and there.

By Virginia Mayer

Updated 09:32 pm EDT, May 22, 2023

Published 02:09 am EDT, April 19, 2023

First thing I saw about her (or any of them, actually) was her butt. It was almost mid-June 2008. I had never heard of the Kardashians and suddenly there was Kim’s ass all over the internet. She was lounging by a pool at the Hotel Hermitage in Monaco, wearing a tiny red bikini that exposed the beginning of her ass crack, and I thought:

I found her whole display so vulgar, needy, hungry, and tasteless. And, still, I became obsessed with her right then and there.

young beautiful woman and bad makeup
Oh! So Natural

I developed a very sexually oriented fascination with her body. I remember thinking: Why would she over-expose her almost naked body like that if it wasn’t for people to get inspiration from her when masturbating? I was almost 30 years-old then and I still think the same thing assume they’re for sale. If the photos they publish of themselves are not part of a catalogue then I don’t understand what it is they’re doing. So, I fed off it. I fed off Kim Kardashian’s ass.

I had this somewhat sick desire to see it all and know it all. Lucky me. I realized she had no sense of shame or decency when I discovered her sex tape with this guy who pretty much paved his place in pop culture as “the guy” in Kim’s sex tape (I don’t really care who he is). The release of said tape happened a little over a year prior to her Monaco vacations so I simply couldn’t understand why she continued to build this ultra-sexual image of herself while at the same time you’d see her crying in front of the cameras, claiming the “love-making” had been a private moment not intended to be shared… Her ass simply offended me.

A few years later I learned us women have the right to expose ourselves as a sexual worker would. And -before I continue- I’d like to clarify I have the utmost respect for sex workers. I also admire any woman who can be honest about what she does. Particularly if said woman is a PUBLIC FIGURE. Big words, huh? Big words indeed. As I learned us women have these rights, me and the whole world saw Kim’s ass transformation. This was clear to my eyes and clear to anyone else paying attention: That ass was monstrously growing and evolving into a giant and obscene “cottage cheese inside a trash bag” (in the words of famous philosopher Paris Hilton). What did become confusing was when she began to claim her deformed curves where actually natural. And then came her sisters. Silly, little Kylie claiming her explosive and painful-looking lips were real (later on, her ass would also start “naturally” growing, regardless of her very thin thighs). And dumb Khloe claiming her ass and nose were also real. I can’t help but wonder, how do these women raise their little girls? Because I definitely can’t picture them preaching accepting and loving yourself. I mean, right? Right!?

I need to be honest. At the time I only judged their surgeries as classless and tacky. I didn’t approve of cosmetic surgeries, finding them all too shallow and narcissistic. I used to think we all had to agree with our natural bodies and love ourselves just as we were born. At the time I didn’t understand I had no right to judge them for changing their bodies. Damn… These days, because of my love for eye makeup, even I’ve been thinking about getting a blepharoplasty to get rid of my droopy eyelids. Regardless of how firm some of your ideas are, time will make sure you change your ways. Oh, it will!

I then discovered Cardi B. and the first thing I saw and immediately loved was her brutal honesty. She talks about her breast and butt implants. She talks about the tummy tuck she got after giving birth the first time and about later dissolving her butt implants. She has nothing to hide and nothing to lose. Cardi B. is brave, honest about herself, and she respects her followers’ intellect, which isn’t the case with the Kardashians and Jenners. And that’s when I realized what my true issue with them is.

Being a public figure isn’t only about gain. It comes with a responsibility not all celebrities are willing to fulfill. Every day that goes by, Kim Kardashian and her sisters continue to perpetuate obviously unattainable beauty standards. It is not true her ass’ changes are a product of excess or lack of exercise. She definitely does exercise like a maniac, but that’s not how she attained that deformed ass. Her ever-changing ass is the product of who knows which cosmetic procedures. And the same goes about her breasts and her whole face. It is not true that she became how she is by lifting weights. The problem is her millions and millions of followers are mostly below the average intelligence and can’t tell truth from lies. Otherwise, why do they follow her and believe all her lies? Can’t be due to a high IQ, for sure. 

But why would all their followers believe these women are all lying to our faces if Kim even has the nerve to deny she promotes unattainable beauty standards? She said so to Harper’s Bazaar in 2021, where she denies that “she or anyone in her family is responsible for promoting the unrealistic beauty standards and body ideals that consume so many women today”. Now, imagine if the problem was only women hating themselves because they can’t naturally achieve those fake, plastic bodies. The problem is also all these mostly braindead men expecting their women’s bodies to look like a Kardashian or a Jenner. This family has irreparably infected an entire society and now that these millions of women have altered their own bodies pretending to look like them, now these sisters have decided to drop the plastic in exchange for slender bodies. And, obviously, once again they’re claiming it’s all due to exercise.

Even if it was true their bodies are all natural (IT ISN’T), they have access to the best and most sophisticated beauty products, nutrition, AND FILTERS. Plenty of filters. They look how they do because they have money and choose to spend it to look like so many other women do these days: Generic and plastic. Definitely not natural. I can’t wait to see them all looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein or Madonna… Oh-so-natural!

Kim Kardashian and her family do have a responsibility, but they’ve failed miserably. I’m screaming for more Cardi Bs. More women like her. More honesty. More realness. More in-your-face. And you should all be screaming with me!

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