I fucked up. I also took a quick glance at Algerian, Olympian boxer Imane Khelif and assumed she wasn’t born female. Shame on me. Shame on you and everyone else.
Now, I’m gonna stop you right there and explain this is not yet another woke article about trans rights. Nothing farther from the truth. Trans women have nothing to do with this conversation. This is about what we all perceive as the “natural” or “right” way of expressing one’s femininity.
La "Machita"...
I was around 12 years old when my friend’s painfully handsome brother told her, in a very derogatory manner, that I was un machito, meaning a tomboy. This was more than 30 years ago in Montevideo, the capital of Uruguay, in South America. More specifically, this was in the Carrasco neighborhood, where most of the city’s high society lives. I didn’t pick the crib I was born into son don’t blame me. It so happens that my father’s family belongs to the highest circles of German and Uruguayan society. And, no, I don’t come from money. My dad never made any money and is one of those Latin-Americans who has very elegant surnames but no money in the bank.
In this kind of society and at the time, all the norms were cookie cut: Unoriginal, standardized, and lacking individuality. No one even dared to daydream about being different than the norm. Being a tomboy wasn’t appropriate. I didn’t even know a tomboy other than Ana María, my dad’s cousin –who everyone whispered was a closeted lesbian. I loved her. And I loved spending time with her. I wish I had identified with her because I probably would have been much less insecure about my own way of expressing my femininity.
Pink, Flower Patterns, and Pastel Tones
The only way of being a female at the time was wearing a lot of pink and flower patters. Lots of pastel tones and an overall softness. I’ve never been particularly soft. I always felt so inappropriate. I felt like I didn’t fit. It took me decades to get over that comment. And that only happened once I understood that being a female means a lot of things. Expressing oneself as a female can be done in many, many ways.
Then why the fuck did I assume Imane Khelif was a trans woman?
Assuming is a Sin
I think I know why. And it’s embarrassing to admit. I believe I am now always cautious and defensive. Trans women have invaded most female spaces and we’re supposed to adapt to this and even compete with them. I am sick of seeing Lia Thomas’ face everywhere. By now I assume we all know she’s an American swimmer, the first openly transgender athlete to win an NCAA Division I national championship, having won the women’s 500-yard freestyle event in 2022, before being barred from competing in women’s events by World Aquatics (thank you Wikipedia for this information).
And I feel deep rage every time I see Riley Gaines (an American former competitive swimmer, political activist and a 12-time NCAA All-American) advocating against the inclusion of transgender women in the women’s division of sports. My rage is due to the fact that I –like her– feel threatened by trans women competing in women spaces. I do not feel it’s fair.
Always Doubt the Source...
So, when I saw Imane Khelif’s strong, powerful face I too assumed she was a trans woman and without doing any research (regardless of the fact that I’ve worked as a journalist, a serious one) I condemned her furiously. I couldn’t believe even the Olympics would allow a trans woman to compete with women. I was about to post my rage on Facebook when my husband asked me why I was so sure she wasn’t a natural-born female.
I stated reading a bit and realized that International Boxing Association Russian president, Umar Kremlev, was who initially claimed that DNA test results showed the athlete has XY chromosomes, but he never published the results. So, nobody knows where these supposed studies came from. Still, we all believed him. I feel so brute. Why did I believe the first thing I read? Why didn’t I doubt the source if I always doubt the source? Why did I trust the media showing the news if I trust no media whatsoever and follow no media at all?
"A Writer's Views on Science"
I don’t know about chromosomes, testosterone, genes, and hormones. I went to school for Creative Writing, I’m not a scientist or a doctor so I won’t speak about something I lack knowledge about. I do know that Khelif identifies as a female. I know she has never disclosed her biological markers nor should she. Why should she? If the only reason to expect her to do so is because we –as a society– believe she doesn’t look like a female should, well, that’s on us, not on her. Because stereotypically female-looking athletes are not being questioned about their femininity. We all assume they’re females because they’re soft, sweet, and unquestionably “female-looking”. Well, that’s bullshit.
There isn’t yet enough data to determine whether people with differences of sex development have an unfair advantage in sports (and that’s something I can’t ignore). And those advantages could include larger muscle mass, bigger and longer bones, and larger organs such as lungs and heart. This could be the case, and that’s the reason why I’m against trans women competing with women. On this issue, I agree with author J.K. Rowling. I believe she too has a right to express her thoughts on the matter.
The Real Witch
However, her attitude towards Khelif –even when it is now known that the International Boxing Association’s Russian president hasn’t provided any proof to back his claims regarding the athlete’s sex development– is plain BULLYING. Shame on her too. All that money and that power and she still hasn’t learned to back off and say I’m sorry when it’s due? I used to admire the bitch.
This whole controversy doesn’t end here. Since the Olympics, Khelif has filed a criminal complaint in France for online harassment, naming both J.K. Rowling and Elon Musk in the case. I won’t even mention his comments about her because we all know he’s a sick fuck. A very rich sick fuck. I’m not willing to waste my words on him.
Here Comes the Stereotypes
But that’s not all. On August 14th, beauty institute Beauty Code published on their Instagram account some images of Imane Khelif with full hair and makeup as well as flower earrings and a shirt. And I wonder, does she feel comfortable with this? Is this way of expressing her femininity something she feels ok with? Does she identify with what she’s showing? I sure hope so. I hope she likes the lipstick and the flowers. She does now look stereotypically pretty and soft, but she also looks damn HOT when she’s kicking ass in the ring.
It’s just sad that we would all assume she’s not a natural-born female because we didn’t see her wearing flowers and lipstick. And it’s sadder that the message is: Look! She dresses in flowers and wears lipstick! She IS a female!
A Celebration of Femininity
The message should be a celebration of all the different ways in which we females express our femininity. Because there’s not just one way of looking like a woman.
And that’s what I should have known when I was a kid, and this narrow-minded asshole dared to comment on the way I express myself as a female. Now I know I am a spectacular female and so is Imane Khelif. I am sorry I was so ignorant and allowed the noise to get to my head and numb my judgment. I should have known better.
I truly am sorry.
